Something That is You

You thought me to trust
To hold close
what is precious to me
Without faltering

You showed me the future
The end of the beginning
which was not to be
The beginning of an end

You brought me sunshine
All that was bright
All that was light
All that was mine

You gave me the truth
Something only for me to lose
Something I will live for
Something that is you

Live for Mistakes Like These

I told you not to be a baby
When you cried for me
I told you to grow up
And you left me

I stood alone as a boy
Who had just lost his only friend
I watched you as you left
I'm losing the sunshine

There's no need to hide it anymore
I can see right through that mask
Laughter is not meant to
Hide the tears of a baby girl

This world is a sinking ship
I am terrified
I don't have enough time with you
Don't let me drown

I'm petrified
This could be a mistake
But I'm only just a boy
Who lives for mistakes like these
So will you be my girl?

Weatherman

Dark clouds consumed
All of what was left
The remains of my hope
was washed away by the hurricane

I found myself talking
to the bright side of the wall
Just to hide the dark side once again
White walls were painted black

On a rainy day like this
there can be no sun
at least none of which matters
Hell, nothing matters

all of the colours in the world
could not paint this canvas
all of the words in my mind
could not explain this anxiety

I'm the clear blue sky
behind the morning weatherman
What else am I to say
If not "Don't wash me away"

Smile, Again?

Yet another time; lost in the sun
With our feet up in the air
We laughed at the sky
Our hands felt the ground
As it held us together

I saw your smile before
Can you smile for me once more?
Can you smile once again?

I held your hand
And took you away
away to the ocean's floor
I never knew
Just how bliss ignorance could be

I saw your smile before
Can you smile for me once more?
Can you smile once again?

My feet took off the ground
My hands reached for the sky
My heart leapt for the ocean
All when I saw your smile

I don't remember that smile
That smile you once had
The one you had when you were all alone...

Deep Blue Sea

How can I say goodbye when my anchor has not come afloat?

I lost my mind a while ago
Left it back at a familiar place
A place where "we" were born
The place where "we" last met

My life was filled with anxiety.
I couldn't even find my way home.
Yet, you strolled in here with such subtle confidence.
You robbed me of my hesitation.
Replaced it with dreams of a promise land.

When others aim their guns at me,
You stood as my shield
Bold and unwavering, confident...
Trusting the power of your love

I lost my mind a while ago
Left it back at a familiar place
A place where "we" were born
The place where "we" last met

When others tried to rock your boat
I stood firm as your anchor
Leaving an unmoved boat
A boat which can't float

I held you down with blood and iron
I had forgotten what it all meant
I had lost sight of your butterfly wings
I had lost sight of you in this deep blue sea

I lost my heart a while ago
Left it back at a familiar place
A place where "we" were born
The place where "we" last met

How can I say goodbye when my heart remains in yours?

The Painting

I've always thought of myself as a loner. I never needed many friends, I never told anyone my deepest fears and my darkest secrets. I had my close friends as everyone did but that was about it. There were no need for "extras" in the picture of my life. But I was never lonely. I enjoyed the time I had to myself; the time where I had no need to lower my standard of thought and understanding to the rest of the world. I didn't like people. No, actually it was more that I didn't like to be in the presence of ignorance... at least not all the time. And to me, people were ignorant. People see no difference between the good and the bad; the loyal companions beside us and the backstabbing pricks behind us. Ironically, people would rather differentiate people through race and gender. I knew I was ignorant too but how can that not be categorized as the purest and dumbest form of ignorance? How am I not to be a loner with the mass public of George Bush's and Socrates wannabes. Or at least thats what I thought.

But, not for the first time, I've been made a fool. Since I've come back from Malaysia, i've been trying to figure out what has changed. I've gone back many times before, although for a shorter period of time, but I couldn't figure out what changed me this time around. My close friends were still close, and so were my family. My house stayed the same and so did my mutt of a dog. Aside from having a car, there was no real difference on the surface. But deep down in me lurked a different side of me that was crying out for life; a different life where people cared for what I said; a life where people would contradict my ideas; a life where life was not all about me. I had lost the life in me at some point or another. I had lost the self I once had and loved. For whatever reason, I became satisfied with my own ignorance afterall. But the people I have always known back home and the many I have recently met had brought part of me back. Its amazing yet baffling how, in just 4 months, those very people had partly undid 4 years of my self-indulgence. Its funny how 4 years of my philosophies had been flushed to the drain in just 4 months. You see, those people were not just anyone to me, at that point, I realized, they were true friends. The ones many people have left behind; the ones many people misunderstand; and the ones I treasure most. Some of them might have been rude at times; some might have acted stupid at times and some I never even knew. But afterall, they were my rude and stupid friends which I never even knew before.

The life began once I saw the colours in their hearts. Some were red with passion, some green with jealousy, some pink with love, and some blue with joy but all those colours made a grand painting. A painting that I shall always treasure.